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When I fired the pistol, Becky shit on my face, bit three inches off my dick, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."This is a thought piece from Earl...WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side.Victorian Police: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.Plato: For the greater good.Aristotle: It is the nature of all chickens to cross roads.Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let him take.Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping50 tons of nerve gas on it.Ronald Reagan: I. You know. These nuns must be real weird to begin with. No sex or anything. And wearing those funny black outfits. I bet this Delia’s just always wanted to fuck women in real life and just been too scared to do anything till she gets to be anonymous in cyberspace. Anyway, in real life, she’s probably an ugly cow. No one, male or female, would probably want to touch her with anything shorter than a barge pole. And she spends all day worshipping the Virgin Mary. Well, it’s only natural you’d want a taste of what’s on offer.” Selena was sure that Angela was right, but she was uncomfortable talking about the real world. She probably wouldn’t like Angela if she ever met her outside cyberspace. Not that it was very likely. It could be she was a mining engineer on the Moon. Or a shop assistant in Wellington. Or a customer services clerk in Denver. But she was sure she wouldn’t be the sort to hang about with Chemistry professors. “At least Delia’s got a bed!” she said, jumping onto the huge.
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I opened the door and walked through the hallways into the kitchen, straight ahead of me stood Catherine, she was wearing a pink and white dressing-gown, she leaned over the cooker and took something out of the oven, she lifted her head up and looked straight at me and smiled: “hey, how was work? Are you Hungry? I’ve made Macaroni cheeseI was starving hungry,it had been a long time since anyone had cooked for me. “that would be lovely, thanks, I’m really hungry”We sat down to eat at a small table in her kitchens, she offered me a glass of wine, I accepted. we fell into conversation easily, she knew nothing of me and I knew nothing of her until all but a day ago, but despite, or perhaps because of this, we spoke openly. I asked her about her work-what she loved about it, what she hated about it, about where she’d like to travel too, and what her plans were for the house.We kept talking after we’d finished the meal, she poured the last drop of wine into my glass. I felt a little drunk..

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